


Temporary madness

by Castafiore



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-03 07:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15814662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castafiore/pseuds/Castafiore
Summary: “Four other press secretaries and you never took a free lead, if they... ?”“Nah, I always took a free lead,”“Then..”“Not from you.”-------------What happens when you can't stay away; when the pull between two persons is simply too strong.-A reimagination of the events between C.J. and Danny during the end of season one and how that could have changed everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story 'Present timeline' happens around the middle of a, slightly off-canon, season two. 
> 
> The italicized texts are flashbacks from season one and two.

PRESENT TIME

 

C.J. walked into her office, her nose buried into that morning’s Post. She put down her purse and coat and turned around to see Carol looking at her with a strange look.

“Good morning, Carol,” she said cheerfully.

“Morning,” Carol answered, looked at her — concern etched on her face.

_Something’s not right_ , C.J. thought, as her cheery mood subdued.

“Carol?” She looked at her assistant.

“I, uh, Toby’s looking for you,” she answered looking at her.

“C.J., have you seen..” Carol began but was interrupted by an irate Toby who was charging into her office.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, C.J.!” He yelled at her.

C.J. looked from Toby to the concerned look on Carol not understanding what was going on.

“C.J.” Carol began again but Toby cut her off.

“OUT!” He said loudly, pointing to the door.

Carol looked at C.J. again, clearly trying to tell her something with her eyes. She stalled and looked purposefully at the crumpled up newspaper in Toby’s hand.

Toby turned away from C.J. to glare at Carol, who backed out of the office, closing the door quietly.

C.J. moved behind her desk and stood facing Toby. As he turned away from the door to look at her again she saw the anger bubbling on his face. She had never seen him like this before.

“Toby, what..” She began but he cut her off as well.

“What were you thinking??” He repeated staring at her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about..” She tried but he interrupted again.

“You’re sleeping with him!” He bellowed at her, his chest heaving and his face contorted with anger.

Before C.J. could mutter anything he threw the newspaper he was holding on her desk. He found the opening he was looking for and pushed it towards her. C.J. stared at the page-six headline _“Scandal at the White House”_. Below the headline was a grainy newsprint photo of her and Danny standing close together in front of her car, her hand touching his jacket and Danny’s hand held her waist. The angle of the picture made it somehow seem much cruder like they were indecent. C.J. grabbed the page and looked horrified at the pictures below, of her leaving the morning after, of Danny standing in his underwear kissing her in the doorway, of her walking away looking guilty. This wasn’t happening! This can’t be happening, she thought over and over.  

“How could you do this?” Toby said incredulously. “How could you be so stupid?”

At that, she looked at him. He looked angry but also hurt.

“Toby, I..” But she couldn’t finish. What could she possibly say?

“C.J., how could you?” Toby’s voice was very quiet but trembling. The intensity of his stare made C.J. feel small, weak. She knew he was taking this very personally.

A small knock on the door made them both look away. Carol entered and said quietly, “C.J., Leo wants to see you. Right now.” Carol looked at C.J. who took a deep breath and tried to find some sense of balance.

“Thank you, Carol,” she said, avoiding Toby’s gaze. She walked out of the office, Toby following. They walked in silence towards Leo’s office and C.J. felt like she was walking to the gallows. They neared Margaret’s desk and she looked at them solemnly.

“You can go in.” She said seriously.

 

-WW-  


_C.J. stirred. The sun was shining through the curtains and birds were chirping outside the window. She slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she made out was an unfamiliar dresser. For a few moments, she stared at it. Then she became aware of the arm around her naked waist. Slowly she stretched her arm to turn the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was very early. She ought to be panicking. Or at least berating herself for this colossal mistake. But she couldn’t. It felt too nice to not wake up alone. She pulled the comforter over them and sighed. She knew this was the calm before the storm._

_As she closed her eyes again she felt Danny stir behind her. The arm around her waist pulled her tighter and he kissed her shoulder. The small gesture stirred something inside her. Damn it, she thought. This was going to be complicated._

 

-WW-  


C.J. entered the office and Leo was standing in front of his desk, awaiting them.

Toby closed the door quietly and stood in the back of the office. C.J. looked at Leo.

“Explain yourself,” he said simply.

C.J. looked at the floor and said softly, “I made a mistake.”

She heard Toby scoff behind her. Leo ignored him.

“How long has this been going on?” Leo said, his voice filled with quiet outrage.

“Not long,” C.J. said and her voice was like a child’s. “A while,” she added guiltily when she saw the look on Leo’s face.

“When did this start?” Toby said menacingly.

C.J. looked at him and for the first time ever, she was frightened by him. He took a step nearer her and looked uncharacteristically furious.

When she didn’t answer he took another step closer to her.

“When,” he said his voice raising, “did you start fucking Danny, FUCKING, Connanon?” He yelled at her, emphasising Danny’s name with contempt.

This was so unlike the quiet, dry-witted Toby C.J. knew that she was completely speechless.

“Toby!” Leo said warning him.

“C.J,” Toby said as he took another step towards her.

“Out Toby, right now!” Leo commanded, taking a step forward.

Toby stared at Leo then turned around and walked out of the office.

C.J. shook as Toby slammed the door shut. Leo looked at her sympathetically.

“You know how this looks, don’t you?” Leo asked looking at her.

“Yes,” C.J. said very quietly. Her mind was racing. How could she ever go back to the press room? She would be ridiculed.

_'How could you be so stupid?'_ Toby’s question reverberated in her mind.

 

-WW-

_“Four other press secretaries and you never took a free lead, if they... ?”_

_“Nah, I always took a free lead,”_

_“Then..”_

_“Not from you.”_

_What was she doing? This was such a monumentally bad idea. C.J. drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. She knew she ought to turn the car around and drive straight home. Or better yet, just go back to the office. It would soon be time to go back anyway. She could take a nap on her couch and then go to the gym early. She could probably run this feeling away. Wouldn’t be the first time. As she was about to turn the key in the ignition a small tap on her window made her jump so violently she punch the steering wheel and the car horn bellowed loudly. She turned to look out the driver side window where a familiar figure stood chuckling._

_“What are you doing C.J.?” He asked in a teasing, but kind matter._

_Oh holy hell, she thought. Seeing him made it worse. She felt her resolve disappear and in an almost trans-like state she opened the car door and exited the car._

_“How you doing?” Danny said cheerfully as if he did not find it odd in the slightest that she was parked outside his apartment building at well past one in the morning. He looked at her curiously and C.J. realised she still hadn’t said anything._

_“Hi,” she said softly as she moved slowly towards him, seemingly involuntary._

_Danny’s whole exterior changed as she closed in on him. His breath caught while he looked at her heavy-lidded eyes staring deep into his own. He moved closer to her and felt a tug below his waist as she looked at his lips and let out a small gasp. C.J. moved even closer so now they stood nose to nose. Danny could almost taste her. She touched his jacket lapel and straightened it unnecessarily._

_“Hi,” Danny whispered and turned his head minutely. He really wanted to kiss her but he wanted her to make the first move, although he had to use all the willpower he could muster to not simply grab her, push against the car and have his way with her. For a week he’d been walking around in a constant state of semi-arousal as she kept kissing him and leaving him. The briefings had been especially interesting. He’d been feeling almost faint with the constant change of stream with his blood flow… But now she was here. And looking at him with a dangerous look. God almighty. She slowly closed the gap between them and kissed him so softly that he didn’t realise if it had really happened or if he had imagined it. His heart beat loudly in his ears. She kissed him again. This time the kiss deepened quickly and Danny grabbed the back of her head and pulled her closer. She moaned into his mouth and put one hand on his chest. Her other hand moved downwards and found his hand and their fingers interlinked. The kiss seemed to be suspended between time and space. But then a car door opened and they let go of each other like they’d been forced apart. They were still holding hands as Danny lead her to his apartment. Neither spoke. C.J. thoughts were spinning and every sound in the quiet street seemed to be amplified. Danny let go of her hand as he opened the door. He looked into her eyes as he stood in the doorway to his home. C.J. looked at him and felt giddy, nervous and terrified. They were moving into uncharted waters now. Just as she began convincing herself that she should return to her car he grabbed her hand again and pulled her towards him. She responded immediately and pushed him to the door as she kissed him. He held her waist and began taking her jacket off. They stumbled into the apartment and Danny closed the front door clumsily. C.J. laughed as he turned quickly towards her again. How Danny loved that laugh. He held her close and began kissing her neck. C.J. laugh turned into delicious moans. She started unbuttoning his shirt and then pulled his face up so she could kiss him again. Danny's hand ghosted over her breast and then grabbed her hip as he pushed his pelvis into hers. C.J. gasped and whispered softly “bedroom,” in his ear. Danny couldn’t help grinning as he took her hand and walked her to his bedroom. As soon as they entered the room C.J. finished unbuttoning his shirt. Danny observed her face and felt his heart swell. Quietly he had been falling in love with this woman that now stood in front of him, slowly undressing him. This was really happening. But as soon as he let himself think he began feeling doubt’s cold hands slowly grab his senses. They shouldn’t be doing this, or rather, he shouldn’t be doing this. C.J. was obviously not feeling right. Something must be wrong. He really ought to stop her, he thought. But then she had removed his shirt and she smiled and kissed him. As her lips touched his, his weak protest died away. All he could think now was that she was far too dressed. Danny pushed down her pants_ _and tugged her shirt over her head and kissed her newly exposed clavicle. Then he slowly kissed down her chest. He walked her backwards to the bed while C.J. removed her bra. Danny groaned as he looked at her perfect breasts. C.J. sat on the bed gloriously naked and pulled him on top of her. He kicked off his pants tried to climb as gracefully as possible on the bed. He hovered over her and gazed into her eyes._

_She gasped as he entered her and held him tightly. He was so passionate and they simply seemed to fit. Danny kissed her neck and C.J. put her long legs around his waist. Feelings that she'd been suppressing for a while bubbled at the surface and her heart hammered in her chest. She held his face and looked into his eyes. They looked into each other's eyes as they moved and then C.J. kissed him desperately. Danny held her even tighter and increased the speed. C.J. closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation and also to protect her vulnerable heart. Looking him in the eye made this real in whole other way._

 

-WW-

 

“C.J.?” Leo asked

“Yeah,” she answered lamely

“You’re going to have to make a statement,” he said.

C.J. nodded, feeling sick.

“Does the president know already?” she asked, not looking at him.

“I’m not sure,” Leo said. “We haven’t had time to talk.” He sighed and looked at her. At that moment Charlie opened the door leading to the Oval office. He looked at Leo and then at C.J.

“Leo, the president needs you,” Charlie said avoiding C.J.’s gaze.

“Yeah, I’m coming” Leo answered. Charlie closed the door.

Leo sighed, “wait in your office, and don’t talk to anyone. Do you understand me?” Leo said looking seriously at her.

She nodded in response.

“C.J. I mean anyone,” he repeated, emphasising the word.

“Yes,” she replied and got up.

* * *

 

tbc.


	2. Chapter 2

 PRESENT TIME

C.J. walked out of Leo's office. Margret looked at her with a strange look, was it pity? C.J. looked at the floor and walked quickly towards her office. She looked up when she neared Toby’s office. He sat and threw his pink rubber ball hard at the office wall. He grabbed the ball and looked up as he spotted her. He didn’t say anything but simply looked at her, his face solemn. Just as C.J. walked past his office Sam got up, looking irritated and walked to the door of Toby’s office.

“Is that absolutely necessary?” Sam asked wearily.

“Yes,” Toby answered quietly looking at C.J. retreating form.

C.J. didn’t hear Sam’s retort as she sped up towards her office. She looked up quickly as she heard loud voices speaking in front of her office. She stopped dead, her heart beating fast. There stood Carol arguing with a couple of reporters. She hid behind a filing cabinet and listened as Carol forcefully ushered the reporters away. She peered over the cabinet and saw the coast was clear, then walked quietly towards her office. Carol turned around as C.J. approached and as she walked past her Carol tugged lightly on her sleeve and handed her something. C.J. peered down and saw Carol’s cell. She looked up, confused. Carol stared at her and mouthed ‘Danny’ surreptitiously. C.J. stared back at her assistant and then back at the phone in her hand. Carol gently pushed C.J. in her office and closed the door. C.J. stood transfixed and then put the phone up to her ear.

“Hello?” She said softly.

“Hi,” came Danny’s voice. A warmth flooded over her from hearing his voice.

C.J. couldn’t really say anything. The weight of what was to come was too heavy.

Neither of them spoke for a while. C.J. sat in her office chair and rested her forehead in her palm. Then she realised something.

“How come you’re not here?” She asked.

“I was called into the office early. My editor heard about it before and I’ve been confined to my office since I came in,” Danny stopped talking and a loud shuffling filled C.J.’s ear. She could hear someone talking to him in the background. There was more shuffling and then Danny spoke quietly.

“Strictly speaking I shouldn’t be talking to you,” he said softly, “but I had to hear your voice.” C.J. heart skipped a beat.

“This is my assistant's phone. She came in here and “accidentally" left it with Carol’s number already dialled,” he said and C.J. could hear his smile.

“Our assistants have our back,” he added with a chuckle and C.J. gave a small laugh.

“I feel like a kid waiting to see the principal,” C.J. said.

“I hear ya,” Danny answered empathetically.

“I’m glad you called,” C.J. said very softly, “I miss y.."

Suddenly Carol called loudly, “Toby’s here!”

C.J. froze. She saw the door open and she dropped the phone in her lap. Toby looked at her and seemed to have seen something.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked coldly.

“No one,” C.J. answered deadpan.

Toby looked at her intently.

“Senior staff's starting,” he said.

“Ok,” C.J. said as she stood up, clasping the phone close to her side, “after you”.

As Toby walked out of her office C.J. looked intently at Carol who walked towards her and sneakily took back her phone. C.J. mouthed ‘thank you’ and followed Toby.

 

-WW-

 

_Danny was surprised when he woke up. He had expected C.J. to be gone by now. He was even more surprised when he felt her wake up and not bolt out the door. He decided to test the waters by pulling her towards him and kissing her shoulder. Interesting, he thought. He slowly began moving his arm, tracing small circles with his thumb on her flat stomach._

_“Morning,” he said softly._

_C.J. turned so she could look him in the face. He looked so cute with his hair tousled that she couldn’t help smile. “Morning,” she replied and craned her neck so she could kiss him. Danny kissed her back and C.J. turned so they were facing each other. He still had his arm around her and she kissed him again and rested her head on his chest. She couldn’t really believe how nice this felt. More than nice. It felt normal; right. She was normally very self-conscious the morning after with a new man but with him, she just felt like herself. A tired but very satisfied self._

_“This is nice,” Danny said as if he’d read her mind._

_“It really is,” she replied and sighed contently._

_They laid together for a long time. After a while, C.J. looked at Danny’s watch. Damnit!_

_“I have to go,” she said as she looked at him._

_“Nooo don’t go,” he said cutely and held her tightly. C.J. laughed and kissed him. He pushed her onto her back and kissed her again._

_“Danny, I really have to…” The words died away on her lips as he kissed her neck. She closed her eyes as he softly bit her delicate flesh._

_“I have to go,” she said again, trying to sound serious but failing to._

_He looked at her grinning and simply said “ok,” in a way that was succinctly him._

_“Alright,” C.J. said looked at him, “I’m going” she added, not moving._

_“Ok,” he replied._

_“I really have to get going,” she repeated, still not moving from him._

_“C.J.,” Danny said._

_“Yes Danny” she answered biting her lip._

_“You know an intrinsic part of leaving is, well, actually moving,” he said as he looked at her with a half-formed grin._

_“Is that so?” C.J. replied._

_“Yeah,” Danny said._

_“Well I better get moving then,” C.J. said and looked at him matter-of-factly._

_“You should,” he replied but still held her as she made no effort to move. He kissed her again and C.J. knew she had to go. Right now._

_She ended the kiss softly and looked into his eyes. Finally, she got up, reluctantly and began dressing. Danny watched her and felt inexplicably sad to see her go. He got up, put on his boxers and a T-shirt and walked with her to the door. When they got to the door they stopped and looked at each other. Danny wanted to say something but couldn’t think what. C.J. looked away and opened the front door. Danny was about to say something when she turned to him and kiss him gently. He closed his eyes and then she was walking away. He watched as she got into her car and then she was gone. He closed the door and smiled to himself._

_At the press briefing later that day Danny could hardly stop grinning. C.J. stood behind the podium, professional as ever, but there was a slight glow at her cheeks and when she took Danny’s question she looked into his eyes a little longer than was appropriate._

 

-WW-

 

When they neared the Oval C.J.’s heart was beating so loudly she could hardly hear anything else. Josh and Sam stood in front of Charlie’s desk chatting. They stopped talking as C.J. and Toby neared.

They all stood in awkward silence until, finally, Leo opened the door.

“Come on in,” he said looking at the group.

They walked in, C.J. the last one in. She refused to look at anyone and tried to make herself small on the striped sofa, which was not an easy feat. She felt the president's eyes on her and she glanced up. His face was inscrutable. She quickly looked away and sat idly, waiting for the meeting to begin.

Leo started speaking and slowly the meeting began. Josh was the most loquacious of the senior staff and C.J. had a feeling that he was keeping them pointedly on the subject to delay the inevitable. Toby answered in low grunts and kept glancing at C.J. The meeting seemed to go on and on. C.J. answered quietly when questions were pointed towards her.

“Leo,” the President said pointedly, looking at C.J. Leo nodded and asked C.J. to wait for them in his office. She got up and walked quickly out of the

room.

 

-WW-

 

_When a long flight to California was approaching C.J. started to become nervous. What would Danny do when he was bored on Air Force One? He had been having way too much fun with her over the last few weeks, pushing hard at her boundaries. To others, there was little change in their flirtatious camaraderie but C.J. had lost her power over him. One afternoon he had followed C.J. into her office, both indulging in their usual back and forth, and Carol looked curiously at the pair of them. C.J. made a point of refusing Danny to close the office door in a way to respond to Carol’s widening smirk but that only brought her inches from Danny’s face who looked at her lips and seemed to be barely restraining from kissing her. C.J. was at a loss for words and Danny chuckled and left winking at Carol as he walked past her._

_He had seen her naked, tasted her and made her come while holding her close and C.J. didn’t trust herself around him anymore. And when she stopped long enough to think about that night, the feeling of her heart pounding like it was trying to escape her ribcage, she felt scared. Scared of the intensity of her feelings and the normalcy while they lay together the morning after. She needed to feel powerful and not like she was in lo… No! She couldn’t, wouldn’t let that thought fully form. This had been about lust, about sex, she tried to convince herself._

_C.J. stood in her bedroom with her suitcase open on the bed when her phone rang._

_“Hello?” she answered, not really looking at the caller id._

_“Hi,” Danny’s voice made her almost drop her phone._

_“What do you want Danny?” C.J. tried to sound annoyed._

_“I think you know what I want,” Danny quipped back joyfully._

_“Danny,” she sighed into the phone._

_“Well, I just want to know when the plane leaves,” he added, thoroughly enjoying this teasing._

_“You just called me to ask me when the plane leaves?” C.J. asked him._

_“Yeah. Why, what did you think I was talking about?” Danny asked_

_“Goodbye Danny,” C.J. smiled._

_“Whatcha doing?” Danny asked before she could hang up._

_“Packing” she replied._

_“Do you need help?” he asked_

_“I really don’t Danny” C.J. answered, playing with a lock of her hair._

_“Are you sure? I’m an excellent, uhm, packer” Danny finished and C.J. could almost hear him waggling his eyebrows._

_“I’m hanging up,” C.J. said._

_“Ah-kay,” Danny said._

_“Goodbye Danny,” C.J. said and hung up quickly._

_C.J. stood holding her phone and sighed. Back to packing. Oh goddammit, she thought as the word’s sudden lurid meaning ran through her mind. She tried desperately to focus on her suitcase again. They were only leaving for barely two days but she needed formal wear, half a dozen casual wear, pyjamas and make-up. The other senior staff always teased her about the size of her suitcase on these trips but they didn’t have to stand in front of the press, portraying the face of the administration. If she looked tired, wore the same clothes for two days in a row or did anything to bring the attention to herself — then she became the story. She looked at the shirt in her hand. It was the one she had been wearing when she drove to his place. The one he tugged over her head and threw unceremoniously on the floor. She stroked over the fabric and smiled._

_A knock on the front door startled her. Who on earth could be knocking at this time of night? She walked to her door and looked through the peep-hole. Her heart jumped as she saw the red curls. She opened slowly._

_“What are you doing here?” She asked him._

_“I thought you might need some help with packing?” He said with a mischievous grin playing at his lips._

_“Is that so?” C.J. leaned on the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest._

_“Yeah” Danny took a step closer._

_“Did you call me from your car?” C.J. asked, one eyebrow arched._

_“I was in the neighbourhood,” Danny deadpanned back._

_C.J. looked intensely at him and made up her mind._

_“Well, you better get in here then” she grinned at the stunned look on his face. He obviously hadn’t expected that._

_“Ah-kay,” Danny replied, quick to remove the stunned expression from his face. C.J. moved to let him in but as he walked past her he kissed her cheek and lingered far too long. C.J. inhaled his scent and felt tingles run up and down her spine. They locked eyes and as Danny moved his head to kiss her lips she moved to close the door. She walked into the apartment as Danny stood, feeling lightheaded. Finally, he followed her and had to suppress a groan when he saw her inside her bedroom, bent over the bed fixing her suitcase. She turned her head as he approached her and grinned as she saw the look in his eyes. She walked to her dresser and opened a drawer. After rummaging for a little while she pulled out red lacy underwear and showed Danny._

_“Do you think I’ll need these?” She asked, in a mock-innocent voice._

_Danny gulped as he looked at her holding the red lingerie in her hand._

_“Ah, yeah” his voice broke like he was a teenager, “uhm, yes, definitely” he added to sound normal._

_“Oh good,” C.J. smiled at him and threw the underwear in the suitcase. She turned back to the dresser, hesitated, and then pulled out a matching lace garter belt. “How about this?”_

_Danny stared at her and couldn’t believe what was happening. He imagined her wearing the garter belt, and well, very little else and felt his pants tighten uncomfortably. When he didn’t reply C.J. walked towards him, handling the lacy material between her long fingers._

_“What do you think?” She said, standing in front of him._

_Danny gurgled an unintelligible sound. C.J. gave a small laugh and threw the garter belt into the suitcase._

_“Thanks, Danny, you’ve been a huge help with the packing,” she said with a sweet smile. She moved forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek._

_But that was too much for Danny. He grabbed her and kissed her roughly, pushing her back onto the bed. He pushed the half packet suitcase haphazardly on the floor and just as C.J. caught her breath she grabbed him on top of her and kissed him. The pent-up tension that had been building up in the last weeks, caused them to rip off their clothes and they barely stopped kissing for air. It was without a doubt the most erotic thing C.J. had ever experienced in her life. The sex was hurried and hot and afterwards, they lay panting, legs draped around each other. They still hadn’t said a word since Danny kissed her. C.J. was slowly gathering her thoughts as she turned to look at him. Danny wasn’t ready to talk but was ready for round two. C.J. opened her mouth to speak as Danny silenced her with a kiss. C.J. put her arms around him and moaned as he began kissing her neck. Somehow he knew exactly where to kiss and the exact amount of pressure. It seemed to send an electric current straight between her thighs. He continued to kiss down her chest and breasts, stroking his hands up and down her sides. He gave her gentle kisses around her bellybutton as his hands grabbed her behind firmly, just on the verge of hurting but in a delicious way. He began kissing her mound and C.J. gasped as his tongue entered her. She couldn’t really decide which was more of a turn on; the sheer skill of his work or confident and power he exuberated. She quickly became undone but he continued licking and sucking driving her into multiple orgasms. She was seeing stars as he finally began kissing up her body again. She felt his raging manhood on her thigh and lightly stroked him with her hand, guiding him inside her. They gasped in unison as he entered her and now they were slow and romantic, with long kisses and eye contact. C.J. felt almost like crying from the overwhelming emotion of it. She watched his eyes as he reached his climax and stroked his back and kissed him. Finally, he finished, collapsing on top of her. They lay like that together, C.J. lazily stroking his curls. After a while, Danny made to move but C.J. stilled him._

_“Not yet,” she whispered and Danny stopped moving. He kissed her neck softly and C.J. choked up. She was in trouble. She kept reminding herself that this was just about sex, about having some fun with this scruffy looking — ever so charming man. Her busy life had let her avoid thinking, really thinking, about her feelings and the ramifications associated with them. Without really noticing, tears began falling down her cheeks. Danny looked up and saw her tear-streaked face._

_“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” His voice was full of care and he moved up so they were facing each other. He wiped her tears away which caused her heart to clench once more._

_“C.J.?” Danny asked softly._

_“I’m sorry,” C.J. began, “it’s nothing — probably just tired,” she said dismissively._

_“C.J.!” he said firmer. She didn’t answer him right away, her mind going a mile a minute. Danny felt disappointed. He felt like as soon they had a real moment when he caught a glimpse of the woman behind the powerhouse that was C.J. Cregg, she shut him out. He had felt like his feelings weren’t one-sided. How could it not be? He looked at her beautiful face and saw the trepidation. He sighed and swallowed his pride. He held her tightly and kissed her forehead, silently telling her that they didn’t need to talk. He could feel her breath a sigh of relief as she turned and rested her head in the crook of his neck. He pulled the cover over them and held her protectively. Neither slept but nor did they speak. After a long while, C.J. stirred, looking at her alarm._

_“It’s nearly time to go,” she said softly. Her breath tickled his neck._

_“We should shower,” Danny replied, “preferably together,” he added with a grin. To his relief, she laughed. They were back to normal. Or whatever it was they were doing._

_“You sir, are insatiable,” C.J. said pointing one finger at his chest._

_“Is that a slight on my age, miss Cregg?” Danny said, his eyes tingling._

_“Well, I wouldn’t want you to harm yourself,” she said teasingly._

_“That sounds like a challenge,” Danny said as he turned her on her back and kissed her again. C.J. laughed and scrambled to get out of the bed. Danny followed her, grabbing her waist as she stood in the doorway to her bathroom, and kissing her neck. C.J. pulled him into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She turned to his embrace and kissed him again. They kissed and laughed and showered together. C.J. was thankful for her oversized shower when he pushed her to the cold tiled wall and pulled one of her long legs up around his waist. Their moans echoed and magnified in the bathroom. C.J. let him wash her hair and the moment was so pure and perfect that C.J. smiled a sweet smile and kissed him. They dried off and there was such a domesticity between them that C.J. felt a bit weak in the knees. Well, to be honest, she was starting to feel weak all over. She walked to her bedroom and cursed. They were going to be late._

_“Danny, we need to hurry,” she said as she hastily as she stuffed the clothes that had fallen from the suitcase back in it. Danny smiled as he entered the room, the word ‘we’ coming from her lips made his heart swell with pride._

_“I’m coming dear,” he grinned at her as he picked up his clothes and dressed hurriedly._

_C.J. darted around the apartment, adding things to her rapidly filling suitcase._

_Finally, they were out the door. C.J. rummage in her purse for her car keys. Danny stood, his hands in his pockets using the time when she wasn’t looking to observe her face. She finally found the keys and they looked at each other. C.J. hesitated, then threw caution to the wind and kissed him gently._

_“See you soon,” she smiled_

_“See you,” Danny replied holding her hand._

_C.J. moved away from him reluctantly and put her bag in her car. Danny walked away towards his car._

_Not long after C.J. stood in Air Force One talking about moisturisers with Donna. She surprised herself with how normal she felt after a sleepless, passion-filled night with Danny. However, as the day wore on she began to feel the effects of the night. She drank a copious amount of coffee but what really lifted her spirits was seeing Danny in his black ties, standing at the press area half asleep._

 

-WW-

 

“We need to make a statement. Soon!” Said Sam looking around the room. Leo and the president exchanged looks. Josh looked away at Sam’s gaze and Toby stared back at him, unwilling to talk. The silence in the room was palpable.

“Well?” Sam said, getting frustrated. He couldn’t understand why no one was doing anything.

“I don’t see why we don’t just give a small statement, about privacy and professionalism. So what if she had a fling with a reporter. Surely it’s frowned upon, but no one broke the law.” He looked at the men in the room, “What am I missing?” he looked at Toby.

Toby looked at Leo who looked at the president. The president sighed and looked at Sam.

“About ten years ago I was diagnosed with a relapsing-remitting course of MS.,” said the president boldly as he looked intently at Sam. As realisation washed over him Toby was getting visibly angrier.

“The story of the president’s MS will break soon” Toby began.

“Why?” interjected Sam.

“It just will. The clues are out there, waiting for someone to find them.” Josh said, “and now we have this story about C.J. which makes it look like she was using sex to prevent Danny from publishing the story.” He looked uncomfortable saying the words.

The president sat in his chair and rested his forehead in his palms.

“How could she be so stupid?” He muttered under his breath, softly but audible to everyone.

“I’m sorry sir?” Toby said looking at the slumped form that was the president.

“I said, how could she be so stupid?” He said looking up. “Sleeping with a Goddamn reporter. I thought she had more sense.”

Toby looked at him, anger bubbling within him. Leo was about to intervene when Toby yelled at the president.

“Don’t you DARE talk about her that way! You...” Toby looked almost deranged as he pointed menacingly at the president.

“Toby!” Leo began.

“No Leo,” he cut him off “he has absolutely no right to judge her.” Toby looked at Sam and Josh who looked stunned.

“You, Mr President, have been lying point blank to everyone; to the American people who elected you, to us... You deceived the American constituents and you will not drag her down with you. She has always stood by you and defended you. She doesn’t even know about your condition,” he said the word like it was contaminating, “but I’m certain that she would begin finding ways to defend you, to protect you as soon as you let her in on your little secret. That’s just the kind of person she is.” Toby stopped to look at Leo.

“I know what’s going on in your head Leo, but know this. If you fire her I will resign, and believe me you do not want me as your enemy.” Toby ended looking from Leo to the president and finally away.

The president looked speechless but Leo had a scowl on his face as he stared at Toby.

“How dare you speak to your president that way,” Leo walked towards Toby, who stood his ground.

Josh moved forward and walked between the two men.

“Let’s calm down,” Josh said.

Toby and Leo glared at each other. Neither seemed likely to back away.

“I mean it, Leo,” Toby said, “I will leave and if you throw her under the bus I won’t go quietly.”

“Are you threatening the president?!” Leo was irate.

“No,” said Toby calmly, “not threatening” he finished simply.

“How dare you...” Leo began but stopped as President Bartlet stood up.

“Leo,” he said authoritatively.

“Mr President” Leo began again but the president cut him off again.

“No Leo. Toby’s right. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it” he said as he looked at Toby. “C.J. doesn’t deserve that”

“No she doesn’t” Toby answered quietly.

Slowly the small knot of men dispersed around the room.

“You three,” President Bartlet looked around the room, “find a solution and quickly,” he finished looking at Leo.

“I want you all to meet me in an hour,” Leo said looking at Sam, Josh and Toby. They nodded, got up and left the Oval - with a chorus of “thank you, Mr President."

* * *

 

_tbc._

 


	3. Chapter 3

_"You guys are stuck in the mud around here and none of it is the fault of the press._  
 _So don’t come in here and question_ my _… I know you’re frustrated but it ain’t nothing compared to the frustration of the people who voted for you so don’t come in here and question_ my _… “We’ll have a comment for you by the end of the day”? When I want the White House to comment on a story of mine I’ll ask for it C.J. I got to do this, I have to do this work"_

_C.J. sat at her desk late one night and thought about Danny. He infuriated her. With everything that had happened lately, she couldn’t believe that Danny Concannon from the Washington Post was the same Danny she had shared her bed with. She was hurt. This was what happens when you mix business with pleasure. Of course, she would have been furious at whichever reporter who got the Mandy-memo, but because it was him, it drove her crazy. Deep down she knew he couldn’t have told her, that’s not his job. But the fact that he didn’t tell her, profoundly hurt her. And it certainly wasn’t professional of her. She knew she had no right to scold him as she did. What was so tragic was that this was precisely why she tried so hard to rebuff his advances in the beginning. 'It’s an unavoidable conflict of interest' But his behaviour towards her certainly wasn’t professional either so she relished in punishing him. Screw the voice of reason. She was hurt, and she wanted to punish him. In some dark way, she wanted to punish him for starting all of this. He began pursuing her, flirting, giving her a goldfish, looking at her the way he did. She used everything she had to fuel her anger, no matter if it was small and petty. She had relished in ignoring his questions at yesterday's briefing. Inviting Tom, the still green behind the ears reporter, back for a follow up felt vindictive, even to her. She tried to ignore the hurt look on Danny’s face but failed. Her mind wandered to the comment from the president about letting Danny out of the doghouse. She really ought to… But she felt as if she was at crossroads. She needed to keep him at a safe distance. She didn’t want to feel this way. She stayed longer at her office each night because her bed felt cold and empty. She missed him so much that her heart ached, and it was easier, numbed the pain to work late, ignore him or scold him. For a few moments, they had shared a pure connection of, what her heart whispered at the worst moments, love._

  
-WW-

C.J. sat in Leo’s office and was thinking fast. She had heard Toby shouting, and her heart swelled. He truly cared, she knew. She also understood why he had reacted the way he had. She tried to suppress it, but she knew full well the reason for his actions.  
-  
They had met more than a decade ago when they worked together on a senatorial campaign in New York. C.J. was still finding her footing, but Toby was the most experienced staff involved. He was cold, unapproachable and a general bastard but C.J. liked him right away. The rest of the staff avoided being in his presence, but she relished in making him uncomfortable. She was quick-witted and flirtatious, and Toby didn’t stand a chance. As it turned out it didn’t take a lot to break through the seemingly tough exterior of Toby Ziegler. They worked long days and slowly began spending almost all of their free time together. He even went as her plus one to her father's second marriage when she couldn’t bear the idea of going back alone. They went as friends but by that time C.J. knew that he wanted more; wanted all of her. As they danced at the reception, his sad eyes looked deep into her own, and she saw only love. It was an overwhelming feeling, and she held him tightly. She guided him to her room and her bed that night. He was a wonderful lover, but perhaps only because he loved her so much. He devoted her with kisses and adored her. She let herself enjoy it, and ignored the warning bells that rung inside her. It had been too long for her. She wanted someone to want her; to love her. It was only in the morning when the sun’s ruthless beams shone upon her that she truly realised what she had done. The realisation of her cruelty shook her. She loved Toby but wasn’t in love with him. She had already stayed in a relationship before where she convinced herself that she was in love. But she just loved the idea that someone could be in love with her. Being gawky, much too tall, and definitely “too smart” for the boys in Dayton while growing up, she seemed to have a hard time genuinely believing someone could love her for who she was. And now she lay in bed with a man, who meant more to her than any other man she had slept with, but she knew it couldn’t happen again. Somehow he seemed to know. He held her tightly and kissed her hair. He didn’t say anything but continued to kiss her and then they were entwined once more. She cried his name, and he grunted as he dove into her hard. It was more desperate this time. C.J. whimpered as he bit her neck and squeezed her breast hard. He looked into her eyes as she came undone and kissed her softly. Afterwards, she lay, resting her head on his chest, and he lazily stroked circles on her naked back. Soon after their candidate lost and they were heading in different directions. Surprisingly there had been a very short period of time where they were awkward around each other. C.J. loved that about him. The flight back to New York, after the wedding, had been devoted to work-talk. They delved into the campaign once they were back and two weeks later, when they finally had a night together by themselves, commiserating after their inevitable loss, Toby forestalled her by saying he knew she didn’t feel the same way. C.J. didn’t know what to say, and they sat in silence and drank. When they said goodnight, she hugged him tightly and thanked him. She kissed him on the cheek and used all of her willpower not to drag him up to her apartment with her. A few months later he called her, just to hear her voice. Not being in the same room made it easy to joke and flirt without any seriousness. They enveloped a deep friendship, and a few years later Toby called her and very awkwardly asked for dating-advice. He had met Andy and was instantly smitten, and was afraid of driving her away. C.J. beamed on the other line of the line as they went over his strategy. C.J. knew how this must have pained him to do so she kept her jokes at the absolute minimum. Over time C.J. and Toby’s friendship grew closer, particularly with Andy’s encouragement. She and C.J. got along great although Toby was constantly nervous that Andy would find out about their past, or rather, that she would find out about his feelings for C.J. Because although he loved Andy deeply, his feelings for C.J. were still there, hidden deep inside his heart.

-WW-

  
_“The memo was news…”_   
_“-Says you,”_   
_“That’s right, says me — says me, says my editor, says every paper that picked it up the next day, says Time, says Newsweek…”_   
_"Congratulations, you’re a movie star. You’re also on the outside looking in for a while, so get used to it."_

  
_Danny knew that C.J. wasn’t ready to let him off the hook. He tried to be at his best behaviour, but when she continued to shun him out, he grew impatient. He watched her from afar as she fought to stay in the game, trying to prove herself to Leo and the President. He knew he ought to be angry at her but watching her spin the media strategy and proving everyone wrong was thrilling. He just wished he could be the one who could congratulate and celebrate with her. Instead, life went on, she continued to punish him but seemed more like her old self. Danny wondered if they had quietly decided never to talk about what happened between them again. She certainly didn’t seem fazed by it. He was confused._

_But then it happened. The worst day of Danny’s life. The chaotic hours after the shooting at Rosslyn. The president had been shot and someone else. The rumour was that it was someone from the senior staff. When Danny heard, a loud ringing began in his ears, and he stopped breathing. It was as if he was suspended in time but not the rest of the word. Katie who stood next to him lightly touched his shoulder, and he saw her mouth move but didn’t register what she had said. She looked concerned and repeated the question. Danny mumbled something to her and quickly walked away. He walked outside and breathed in the cold morning air. He didn’t realise how long he had been there, but a sudden commotion inside made him turn back inside. Everyone was hurrying to the briefing room. He quickly returned to his seat and could hardly hear the noise in the room for the loud beating of his heart. And then she entered the room. Danny let out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding in. She was there, alive! She looked like hell, but she was there, and she was breathing, and thank God — she was alive. And then she was talking, and Danny was on auto-pilot. There were questions they needed answers for. C.J. rebuffed some of the questions but looked confused and kept touching her neck. He followed her after the not so informative briefing because he needed answers but he also needed to be near her._   
_‘I’d like to not be a reporter for a few minutes and just’ … He meant it._

_Danny sat in his living room nursing his second drink. He had finally gone home, after his talk with Leo. He still hadn’t changed or showered - he was just too exhausted. There was a soft knock on his front door. He got up and opened the door. To his surprise he saw C.J. standing there, clutching an arm around her in a protective way. She looked at him, and without words, he pulled her into a hug. They walked into the apartment together, and Danny guided her to the coach. He poured her a drink and handed it to her before sitting next to her._  
 _“I didn’t… couldn’t go home,” she said quietly._  
 _“I understand,” Danny replied._  
 _She took a sip of the drink and looked at him._  
 _“I didn’t know where to go so…” her voice trailed off._  
 _“I’m glad you came,” he smiled at her and grabbed one of her hands. She seemed to come undone at the touch and tears started streaming down her face._  
 _“Josh’s gonna be fine,” Danny said, “I’m sure of it.” He pulled her into a hug, and she sobbed in his embrace._  
 _She lay in his arms for a long while. He stroked the back of her head and held her tightly._  
 _“You should sleep,” he said and turned to be able to look at her._  
 _C.J. was going to say that she needed to get back, that she shouldn’t have come here, that she should go home, or to the hospital or… But instead, she looked into his kind eyes and nodded._  
 _“Stay with me?” She asked him. He smiled at her_  
 _“Of course,” he said as he led her to his bedroom._  
 _Slowly they undressed and got under the covers together. C.J. laid her head on his arm, and he put his other arm around her waist. Danny kissed her neck, and C.J. closed her eyes at the contact._  
 _She had been walking around the halls of the West Wing not knowing what was next or even what time it was. She was going to go back to the hospital but decided against it. She drove towards Danny’s place, like that fateful first night they spent together; thinking it was probably a bad idea but she also knew it was what she needed._  
 _Laying in bed with him, breathing in his scent and feeling the security of his embrace made her relax for the first time since they walked out of the town hall. She turned, so she was facing him and looked into his eyes. She reached forward and kissed him. He kissed her back but quickly ended it._  
 _“You should rest C.J.,” he said with care._  
 _She knew he was right, but still, she reached forward and kissed him again. She put one hand in his hair and pulled him even closer._  
 _“C.J.” he repeated trying to find the willpower to stop her._  
 _“Please Danny,” she said desperately, “I need this.” She kissed him again, “I need to feel something else, I need to feel in control."_  
 _He looked into her tired and sad eyes. The last time they had been together he had been disappointed that she didn’t show him what she was feeling. Now she was letting him in, telling him she needed him. He kissed her back, and she sighed as he pushed her on her back. He kissed her neck and put all his love in each kiss. The sex was urgent and filled with emotion. C.J. held him tightly the entire time and allowed herself to get lost in his blue eyes. She woke up a few hours later alone in bed. She stroked her hand over the empty side of the bed and could feel it was still warm. She got up and put a T-shirt of Danny’s on and walked out of the bedroom. He stood in the kitchen and was talking on the phone. He saw her enter the room and hurriedly ended the call._  
 _“Hey,” he said and smiled at the sight of her in his T-shirt._  
 _“Hey,” she smiled back._  
 _“Work?” she said, gesturing at the phone in his hand._  
 _“Yeah,” Danny said, looking at her intently._  
 _“I made coffee,” he added. He poured her a cup and handed it to her._  
 _“Thank’s,” she said as she took a sip. Danny looked at her and waited for her to say something. C.J. put the coffee cup on the kitchen counter and walked towards him and hugged him. He was surprised at first but then quickly put away his phone and held her tightly._  
 _“Thank you,” C.J. said as she loosened their embrace, “for everything,” she added at the slightly puzzled look on his face._  
 _“I’m always here for you C.J.,” he said looking her in the eyes. Her heart seemed to leap at his words. She kissed him gently. Danny observed her and couldn’t help the words from falling from his mouth._  
 _“C.J., I love you,” he said, a look of surprise painting his face as soon he said it. Her face mirrored his as she took in his confession._  
 _Danny began gearing up to either understate or even defend his words when C.J. looked at him with a strange look on her face._  
 _“I love you too,” she said quietly, almost more to herself._  
 _“You what… I’m sorry?” Danny stared at her, “I’m sorry what did you say?”_  
 _C.J. gave a small smile at his look of disbelief._  
 _“Danny,” C.J. looked at him and took a deep breath. “Danny, I once told you all the reasons for why we couldn’t be together; the conflict of interest, our careers... Nothing has changed between us. I’m still the Press Secretary, and you’re still a White House reporter. The memo proved why this could never work. Or at least I can’t see how it can work.” She paused for a while, and Danny watched her, his pulse beating rapidly. He couldn’t believe that she was going to push him away again._  
 _“However, after these couple of days, of almost losing Josh,” she closed her eyes to stop the tears from forming, "I don’t want to deny my feelings, and that makes everything more complicated. But I want you. And I’m not ready to end this.” She gestured between them. She looked resolutely at him and maintained eye-contact as she repeated the words, “I love you, Danny.”_  
 _As he allowed himself to believe her, a stupid grin began spreading over his face. She had utterly knocked him senseless. He kissed her again, and she put her arms around his neck. He held an arm around her waist, allowing the other one to graze beneath the grey Notre Dame T-shirt she was wearing. He groaned as he realised she wasn’t wearing underwear. He kissed with more fervour and pushed on top of the kitchen table. She laughed at his intensity but moaned as he stroked a finger between her folds. He kissed her neck, and she pulled him nearer. He kicked off his boxer shorts and slowly entered her. She moaned loudly, and by God, he could have come by the sound alone. As he increased the speed, she crossed her legs behind his back and moaned in his ear. The position they were in made her come very quickly. She clenched around him as she held him tightly. He was so close, and he intensified his speed. He was so overwhelmed by the moment that he kissed and grazed his teeth on her neck. C.J. rode her orgasm and whispered in his ear “I love you.” At hearing those words, Danny came hard and stood_ panting _in his kitchen, resting his head on her shoulder. They were breathing hard, and C.J. slowly put her legs back down._  
 _“Wow!” she finally managed to say between heavy breaths._  
 _“Yeah,” he chuckled._  
 _He helped her down and kissed her again. He felt like he could do nothing except kiss her for the rest of his life and it would be a life well spent._  
 _“I’ll make breakfast,” Danny said as C.J. walked to his bathroom. She smiled at him and took off his T-shirt in the bedroom doorway. He stared at her and groaned. She gave a small giggle and walked into his bathroom. Danny sighed and put on his boxers and turned on the news._  
 _When C.J. returned to the kitchen, she was dressed in her dress pants and top, and her hair was wrapped up in a towel. Danny looked up from the frying pan and grinned at the sight of her. C.J. eyes were glued to the television as she picked up her coffee cup and poured herself a new cup._  
 _“I’m making eggs and pancakes,” Danny said, returning his attention to the pan on the stove._  
 _At that C.J. turned and saw him put the two eggs, pancake and fried tomato on a plate and hand her._  
 _“Danny, this is incredible,” she said with disbelief in her tone._  
 _“Only the best for you,” he said sweetly as he put his plate on the table and sat across her._  
 _C.J. smiled at him and began eating. They sat in comfortable silence as they ate, occasionally looking at the TV. C.J. looked at her phone and sighed. “I’d better get going,” she said sadly, getting up._  
 _“Yeah,” Danny said, not looking at her._  
 _“I’ve been thinking,” she took his hands in hers and interlocked their fingers. “We need to have a Chinese wall of sorts when we’re together. We absolutely cannot talk about work outside the White House, and we mustn’t behave any differently there.”_  
 _“So no grabbing and kissing,” he said jokingly._  
 _“No,” she replied suppressing a grin._  
 _“So I’m like your dirty little secret?” Danny said, waggling his eyebrows at her._  
 _“Exactly,” she smiled and kissed him again. She put on her coat, and he walked her to the front door._  
 _“So, when will I see you again,” he said as he pulled her close._  
 _C.J. looked at her watch and back at him, “Oh I’d say in about two hours.”_  
 _“Hmm, that’s quite long, especially because I won’t be able to kiss you. Not even a little bit,” he said playfully, “I think I better fill up on kisses now.”_  
 _He kissed her with a deep, passionate kiss that left C.J. weak in the knees. She went to open the door when he grabbed her again_  
 _“I need a bit more,” he said as he kissed her again. C.J. smiled at him from heavy-lidded eyes._  
 _“See you later,” he said softly._  
 _“Bye,” she replied, reaching forward for one more kiss. Finally, she left. She smiled a toothy grin as she stood in front of his apartment._

_In the next weeks, C.J. had a spring in her step that her colleagues seemed blissfully unaware of. Toby was on his one-man mission against the gun industry, and Sam was usually rather clueless. Josh would have been the one commenting on her unusual good mood, but alas he was on doctor/Donna ordered bedrest. Carol definitely suspected something, but she was the only one C.J. didn’t worry about. She almost wanted to confide with her but knew she couldn’t. Because of their jobs, there were sometimes days when they couldn’t see each other, outside the briefing room. Danny had been getting more assignments away from the White House, which was unusual but not strange._  
 _C.J. loved the weekends where they could sometimes spend almost entire twenty-four hours together. They would talk into the night, make love as much as possible and enjoy being together. She especially loved the rare Sundays when they could truly be together - like a couple, with no work waiting for them and no one being called in._  
 _On one of those rosy Sundays, they were almost caught. They had had a late morning in bed, well, late for their standard, and enjoyed a shower together — as was their preference. C.J. was drying off, and Danny was making coffee. He walked out to get the papers, and when he opened the door, he stood in front of a pale but chipper Josh Lyman. Thankfully, Josh was looking behind himself when he opened the door so Danny did the only thing he could think off - slamming the door in his face. He hurried into the bedroom where C.J. stood applying moisturiser on her long legs. He only allowed himself a moment to admire this tantalising sight before whispering, “Josh is outside!” C.J. couldn’t help laughing a little at him before she told him to wait in her bedroom and she would figure this out. She tied her robe securely, gave him a sultry kiss and left the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She walked to the front door, outside of which Josh was knocking persistently._  
 _“C.J. open up,” he said, much too loudly, “don’t you know I shouldn’t be too long on my feet,” he said grinning._  
 _C.J. opened the door and took in the overgrown child that stood in front of her that was Josh Lyman. He was to start work again the next day. He stood on her stoop grinning, looking much too thin holding two coffee cups in his hands._  
 _“Why’d you slam the door in my face C.J?” He asked as he let himself into the apartment._  
 _“Well, I wasn’t decent mi_ amor _,” C.J. replied, realising that she stood in front of him wearing only a thin robe. Almost as if he had read her mind he turned around and observed her. “So you decided to put this thing on?” He said with a grin, “now I really want to see what you were wearing before!” He said with a smirk. C.J. stood in front of him and marvelled at her friend, who now stood in front of her alive — almost completely whole again. She smiled at him and hugged him._  
 _“It’s good to see you,” she said and kissed him on the cheek._  
 _“You too,” he smiled back at her, “I brought you coffee,” he said handing her a cup. They sat down at her kitchen table, and C.J. tried to look surreptitiously around her apartment for any signs of Danny. Already she saw a pair of wine glasses by the sink and his bag was by the coach in the living room. As Josh seemed to look at what she was looking at, C.J. quickly said, “so what brings you here on this fine Sunday morning?” Trying to sound casual, but not entirely sure she succeeded. Josh looked at her curiously before replying, “Would you believe I was in the neighbourhood?”_  
 _“Actually, no,” C.J. said with a knowing smile._  
 _“I just,_ uhm _, needed some space,” he said looking at the table and taking a huge sip of the coffee._  
 _“From?” C.J. inquired._  
 _Josh looked at her with a pained look._  
 _“Donna?” She asked._  
 _“Yeah?” He replied with a comic grimace on his face._  
 _“Josh,” C.J. began, but he cut her off._  
 _“Look,” Josh sat straighter, “she’s been great! It’s just, I feel like haven’t had a moment to myself in almost three months. She’s been great” he repeated, “but she treats me like I’m delicate like I’ll fall apart if given a whole hour by myself.” He ended, speaking much louder than he had intended. C.J. just looked at him with an understanding smile._  
 _“I know,” he said - although C.J. hadn’t said anything, “I know she does this because she cares, and that’s great” he emphasised the word “but I feel like I need a break from the recovery,” he ended lamely. He looked at C.J. and sighed, “I know, I’m a jerk - but I just need to feel, like a,” he hesitated, “a man.” He looked at her as she raised her eyebrows._  
 _“So you came here,” C.J. looked at him shrewdly, “to feel like a man?” She looked at him, barely stopping the grin from forming on her lips._  
 _“You know what I mean” his cheeks were blushing, “not like that, I just mean, not that I wouldn’t want to, oh God,” he seemed to dig deeper with every word. C.J. laughed, and he gave a forced chuckle._  
 _“I just mean that you’re not likely to treat me like a victim” he finally managed to say. C.J. looked at him and gave him an affectionate smile._  
 _“I know what you mean,” she said._  
 _“I knew you would,” he smiled back “and I mean, if you really want to make me feel like a man I won’t say no to that,” he said and waggled his eyebrows absurdly._  
 _“You couldn’t handle me, mi_ amor _” she quipped back. As soon as she said it she realised Danny was waiting for her in her bedroom._  
 _Josh’s eyebrows shot up at that, but before he could say anything, C.J. said, “well, this was a treat Joshua, but I’m afraid my busy schedule of Sunday pampering waits for no man.” She stood up, indicating that he should get up as well._  
 _“You’re kicking me out?” He protested._  
 _“Yup,” she replied walking towards the front door._  
 _“Unbelievable, your dear friend comes back from months of fighting for his life..” Josh said, with feigned hurt._  
 _“Oh please, you’ve mostly been annoying the hospital staff and Donna for the last months” she interrupted him._  
 _“Don’t you need help with some of the_ pampering _,” he said with a stupid grin._  
 _“Goodbye Joshua,” she smiled at him._  
 _“Bye C.J.” He smiled at her, and they hugged again. Just as he was about to open the front door, he looked down at a pair of shoes. Danny’s shoes! A slow smile of understanding started crawling up his face, especially at the look of terror on C.J._  
 _“C.J.” he began slowly, “whose shoes are these?” He asked annoyingly._  
 _“None of your business,” she replied, much too quickly._  
 _“Oh, come now C.J., don’t be shy, wait!” he seemed to be thinking fast, “wait, he’s here! It was he who opened the door before,” he said excitedly, trying to go back into the apartment but C.J. was blocking him._  
 _“I wanna meet him, C.J.” Josh was having way too much fun with her._  
 _“No Josh! Now leave before I…” she began before he interrupted_  
 _“Before what?”_  
 _“Before I call Donna,” she said triumphantly._  
 _Josh stopped trying to get past her and sighed dramatically._  
 _“Touché, my friend, touché,” he bowed slightly to her and opened her front door._  
 _“Give him my regards C.J,” Josh said with an idiotic grin plastered on his face._  
 _“Bye,” C.J. said as she watched him walk down the stairs in front of her house. She closed the door and walked to her bedroom. Danny was laying on the bed looking both annoyed and amused. He sat up as she walked into the room, and she sat on his lap._  
 _“Hi,” she smiled as she kissed him._  
 _“Hi there,” he smiled back._  
 _“I think we should wait a little while before we leave the room,” C.J. said, “I wouldn’t put it past him to wait in front trying to catch a glimpse of the owner of the shoes,” she said and kissed him again._  
 _“I didn’t realise you two were this close,” Danny replied not being able to keep the touch of jealousy out of his voice._  
 _“What do you mean,” C.J. said, trying to keep from laughing, “oh, honey, are you a teensy bit jealous of Josh Lyman?” She said pouting her lips._  
 _“What, no,” he said unconvincingly, “I just mean, he came here early on a Sunday morning, wanting to feel like a man…” He couldn’t finish the sentence, as if merely saying the words was wrong. C.J. couldn’t help from laughing. She kissed him again and looked at this man who had changed her life._  
 _“I gotta say, Danny, it’s kind of hot that you’re jealous,” she said half joking, half completely true. When he didn’t seem to see the humour in this situation, she lifted his chin so he would look her in the eye._  
 _“We’re just friends. We like to joke and tease each other, and yes — sometimes we flirt,” she said truthfully, “but it’s innocent and silly. I can tell you that I’m categorically not attracted to — or in any other way than friendship — interested in Josh Lyman.”_  
 _Danny looked at her and felt silly for behaving this way, but when he had been overhearing the playful banter between them, he'd become uncharacteristically jealous. C.J. was his, and he wanted Josh - hell, the rest of the world to know it. He tightened his grip on her and kissed her possessively. C.J.’s eyes glinted after it, and she kissed him back hard, pushing him back on the bed. She lay on top of him and kissed seductively. He opened her robe, and with one movement she was naked. He looked up at her admiring this beautiful creature._  
 _“God I love you,” he said before kissing and licking one of her breasts. She moaned and hastily removed his boxers. She guided him inside her and gasped as he slid easily in. Being on top, she controlled the speed and was enjoying riding him slowly, giving him long kisses. It was her way of showing him that she was truly his. He flipped them around and kissed her all over. Afterwards, they lay in bed together, and Danny couldn’t help thinking about the future. Their hidden relationship had only been going on for a few months, but he'd had enough of the secrecy. He loved this woman who lay in his arms, but he hated that he had to hide when a mutual friend showed up. He wanted to go on dates, surprise her with flowers at work, celebrate anniversaries and, hell, marriage. He was a traditional guy, and he wanted it all with her. He held her and kissed the top of her head._

_Sometimes their Chinese wall proved challenging to adhere by. There came a while where Danny purposefully sought-after assignments outside the White House because he didn’t want to deal with the inevitable conflict that would follow if he stayed and did his job. He had strong opinions about this administration, but he realised that he was starting to avoid some subjects so as not to hurt C.J.’s feelings. The problem with that was that when he wasn’t covering the White House someone else, less sympathetic to the administration, covered them and in a less flattering light. His editors had noticed this. They called him in for a meeting to discuss his future. For a few minutes, he was terrified someone had found out about him and C.J., but he realised he didn’t care so much about what would happen to him. He wanted to protect for as best as he could - which was not an easy feat. C.J. Cregg wasn’t a woman who liked to be saved._

 

* * *

 

_tbc._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Thank you for reading and a special thanks to those who gave kudos and commented.

  
  


Josh, Sam and Toby were in Toby’s office, the door locked and curtains drawn shut. Toby sat with his head in his hands, lightly drumming his fingers on his balding head. Josh stood by one of the windows facing away from the others. Sam stood nervously in the middle of the room. He looked at the other men, seemingly uncertain whether or not to speak. When no one said anything, he spoke.

“We need to make a statement,” he repeated himself, looking apprehensive at the others, “soon, I mean as soon as possible. And we need to make this story completely irrelevant to, uhm, the presidents…” his voice trailed off.

“Affliction?” Toby said ironically. Josh had turned around as Sam spoke, seemingly trying to keep up with his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, we make it a focus of the two of them together,” he said looking eager at Sam who nodded.

“The focus has to be that they are in an established relationship,” Josh continued, jutting out his chin as he thought out loud.

“If it looks like it was a short fling, it will make C.J. look bad, make this administration look bad and make this White House look bad. However, if we can spin this as a serious relationship then who’s going to judge them? I mean come on, we make it about love in the White House, throw C.J. in with Barbara Walters…” his voice trailed off.

Toby looked up at Josh and Sam, his face cold and unreadable.

“Do you really think that if C.J. goes on Walters that people won’t make a connection about the deceit of the White House and the American public?” Toby asked with a humourless chuckle. “She’s going to look unprofessional, taken advantage of, and,” he sighed, “people will say this happened because she’s a woman and that she’s unqualified,” he ended dejectedly.

“I disagree,” Josh said, “I think that C.J. will have to deal with this, for sure, but I don’t think anyone will think she’s not qualified. To be perfectly honest I think this makes Danny look worse,” he ended with a small frown.

“How long has this been going on with them?” Sam asked.

“C.J. said a while,” Toby replied.

“Well does that mean? We can’t send C.J. to Barbara Walters to talk about a guy she went on a few dates with?” Sam looked exasperated.

“We should call her in,” Josh said calmly.

“And get her version of this mess?” Toby interjected.

Josh walked to C.J. office and knocked on the door and opened.

“Hey, we need to talk to you,” he said kindly.

“Yeah, I figured,” C.J. said as she got up from her desk and followed Josh toward Toby’s office. They walked past Ginger and Donna who looked like a deer caught in the headlights when she saw them approaching.

Josh gave Donna a look, and she hurried off. Ginger looked resolutely at her desk, and C.J. almost wanted to laugh. But all thought of laughter disappeared when she walked into the dark office. She looked at Toby who stared into her eyes with his sad gaze.

Sam gave her a reassuring smile, and C.J. sat next to him. Sam and Josh looked at each other silently asking the other to ask the questions. Finally, Josh sighed and looked at C.J. with a tired smile.

“We have an idea,” he began, “about how to spin this… But we need more information,” he looked very uncomfortable but resolute.

C.J. said nothing, so Josh continued. “How long has it been going on?” He asked awkwardly.

C.J. sighed and looked at Toby. He was looking away from her but sat tensely as if he didn’t know if he wanted to know or not.

“A few months,” C.J. said quietly, noticing Toby’s raised eyebrows.

“A few months?!” Josh said, sounding astonished. “Wait, so the shoes I saw when I came to see you?”

C.J. gave a small smile at the comical expression on Josh’s face. Toby and Sam looked at them not understanding.

“C.J. … that’s almost eight months!!” Josh looked gobsmacked.

She looked up at his words. Had it really been that long? Eight months? It seemed a long time, much longer than it felt. Because of the secrecy and their incredibly busy schedule there often long times when they didn’t see each other.

“Yeah,” C.J. said, not knowing what else to say.

“Is it just,” Sam began but seemed embarrassed to have to ask his friend about this, “is it casual?” he ended lamely.

“We need to know if this has just been about sex?” Toby suddenly spoke, looking intently at her.

“That’s none of your..” C.J. began, but Toby interrupted her.

“You made it our business when you began screwing with the…” He paused, “screw a reporter.”

The look C.J. gave Toby was intense. Josh watched his two friends and quickly intervened.

“C.J. I know this the last conversation you want to be having right now, but, we think the only way out of this mess,” he smiled at the word, “is to put a positive spin on it.”

“I just don’t see why this has to be spun,” C.J. said, looking at Josh. “I thought that we would ride it out, I would prepare a statement, and whether it out?” she ended uncertainly.

“You don’t see how it looks for this administration that the Press Secretary was sleeping with a senior White House reporter?” Toby said with a ruthless chuckle, “are you serious?”

C.J. opened her mouth, but no word came out.

“People will scrutinise everything he has EVER written about us, and if he has ever given us the benefit of the doubt, it will look like you made sure it would be that way. You’ve been fucking for almost a year, hell,” Toby stood, with one hand on his hip the other pounding on his wall, “he did a feature on the president. Was that a favour for you or him?” He looked at C.J. with a cruel smile.

“Toby!” Sam exclaimed

“We never talked about work,” C.J. stared at Toby, “I never gave him special treatment in the press room, and I never leaked him stories,” her voice growing louder.

“I didn’t want this Toby! Of course, I know how this looks. This is my life; my career on the line. Do you honestly think I would jeopardise all of that for a bit of action? Are you serious??” she said standing up, “Do you think I chose to fall in…” She stopped speaking abruptly.

Toby froze, lost in her almost confession. Sam and Josh exchanged looks; both felt like they were eavesdropping on a private conversation.

“You love him?” Toby said so quietly that it was barely a whisper. He looked like he’d been hit over the head.

C.J. stood still for a long while staring into his eyes. They seemed to be communicating without words. Suddenly Toby got up.

“I need to be, I need to be… I’m... Yeah,” he muttered and walked towards the office door.

“Toby, please!” C.J. pleaded with him. Josh and Sam looked at C.J. Toby turned back and walked to the window and stood there with his back to the rest of them. They were silent until C.J. sat back on the sofa. She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Josh finally spoke.

“Should we continue?” He said softly.

“Sure, why not,” C.J. said brazenly.

“I believe that if we leak the story of a romantic relationship between the two of you, then we will be able to control the story,” Sam said this in his very sweet Sam-way

"Nobody’s gonna judge some poor schmuck for falling in love with you,” Josh interjected with a small wink.

“I mean, it certainly wasn’t a secret that you two were friendly, but we’ll make a clear trajectory of when the relationship began and that no unethical lines were crossed,” Sam continues, “there weren’t any unethical lines crossed?” He asked carefully.

“No,” C.J. answered at once but thought about it, “I can’t think of anything. We never talked about work, ever. That’s why he wrote the feature. He didn’t tell me about it, and I tried to stop him. I didn’t try to stop him because of our relationship. I tried to stop him because the Post kept printing those exposes about the White House. I was pissed at him.” 

“When did something happen between the two of you for the first time,” Sam asked delicately.

C.J. didn’t answer right away. Toby turned around and looked curiously at her.

“After the State of the Union,” she finally said, “we kissed for the first time.”

Toby opened his mouth to speak, but C.J. forestalled him. “We kissed a few times and,” she sighed, this was much more difficult than she’d imagined, “then we spent the night together for the first time a little while after that,” she finished deliberately vague.

“When?” Toby asked

“Why does it matter?” C.J. retorted.

“It does matter C.J.,” he said, “it also matters who made the first move,” Toby looked uncomfortable.

“Why?!” C.J. wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

“C.J., we need to know these things, we need to know if it looks like you slept with him to keep him from a story; we need to know if he came on to you for access or if…”

“I’m not answering those,” C.J. interrupted.

“C.J.!”

“No Toby, it’s nobody's business except mine and Danny’s,” she looked at Toby, challenging him.

Toby sighed and looked at Josh, who gave him a smiling nod.

“C.J., you need to believe us that we wouldn’t be asking these questions if we didn’t have a good reason,” Josh said calmly, trying to convey more meaning to his words. C.J. looked at him and frowned.

“I’m missing something, aren’t I?” She asked.

Josh nodded curtly.

“And you can’t tell me what it is?” C.J. continued.

Josh shook his head.

“Does it involve the president?” C.J. asked.

“Yes,” Josh said simply.  

“And somehow the story of me and Danny is going to affect, whatever it is you won’t tell me?” her voice had an edge.

“Not won’t, can’t!” Josh said quickly

C.J. looked at Toby, and he gave her a small nod. C.J. sighed and sat back on the sofa.

“I went to his house after we buried the story about Lowell Lydell,” C.J. began, speaking without emotion, “I’m pretty sure the photos are from that night. Nothing happened for a while after that until just before we went to L.A.,” she sighed, “at that time it was just about sex, at least for me,” she paused, thinking about Danny. “I tried to stop it, to stop thinking about… it. But after Rosslyn everything was different.” She stopped and looked at Josh, tears forming in her eyes. “I went to see him again, I uh, I couldn’t go home,” a single tear fell, and she wiped it away brusquely. “We’ve been together since then,” she ended, taking a deep breath before looking at Toby.

“So you’re a couple then?” Toby asked, trying to keep the edge out of his voice but failing.

“Yes,” C.J. answered simply.

There was a soft knock on the door. They all looked as Ginger slowly opened the door. They could see Carol standing behind her.

“The press is getting pretty restless,” Ginger said looking at Toby.

“Thank you, we’ll be finished soon,” he said to her. Ginger nodded and closed the door.

“We’ll need to send out a statement,” Sam began, “can Henry deal with the press until then?”

“I think C.J. needs to do the briefing,” Josh said.

“She can’t, we haven’t written anything, hell, we don’t even know what ramifications we should be expecting,” Toby said irritably.

“Toby, we need to send C.J. out there — as a sign that the White House’s got her back!” Josh exclaimed.

“Let’s flood them with press releases,” C.J. said, “that’ll give us some time,” she looked at Josh and Toby, “Carol can handle it.”

“I’ll go and tell her,” Sam said, getting up. C.J. squeezed his hand as he walked past her. He smiled at her and left the office.

“C.J. you need to see the president,” Josh said.

C.J. looked at him and sat straighter, “alright.”

  
  


The three of them walked back to the oval office. They waited by Charlie's desk silently. Not long after C.J. stood in front of the president, her mouth half open — not really processing what he had just told her.

“C.J.?” President Bartlet looked at her with concern.

The full weight of his confession hit her like a tonne of bricks. She stumbled backwards and sat on the sofa, her mind going a mile a minute.

“It’s going to look like I slept with Danny to keep this story hidden. Or that I seduced him,” she grimaced, “to keep him from possibly finding out about it.” She looked at the President and Leo. “It’s going to look like a cover-up,” she said stunned.

“We need to separate these two stories,” Josh said, “and we need to do it fast.”

C.J. looked at Leo who had exchanged a look with Toby.

“Toby, start working on a brief for C.J,” Leo said firmly.

“I can write it…” C.J. began.

“Toby’ll do it,” Leo replied with finality. Bartlet looked at Leo who nodded, “Josh, Toby, give us a moment with C.J.”

They looked apprehensive but got up and left. The president walked past his desk and sat in one of the chairs next to the sofas.

“How you doing C.J,” the president said, patting her knee and looking at her with fatherly concern.

“Honestly sir, I don’t really know,” she confessed. He smiled at her and Leo sat down on the chair next to the president.

“I think you know what needs to happen next,” Bartlet told her kindly.

C.J. looked at him not reacting — although she knew full well what he meant.

“And I know you,” he looked at knowingly, “you’re going to want to protect me and him.” C.J. looked down feeling the weight of the unspoken words that tiptoed around them. “But nothing will be solved if you leave. Sometimes the hard thing to do is to not act; to allow others to take the fall for you.” She stared at him with wide eyes.

“Sir,” she began.

“I talked to Danny,” he said quietly.

C.J. felt a dull blush tint her cheeks. What on earth was happening?

“Sir, I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t have,” she said.

“C.J. think about the situation, no really think,” he said as she made to interrupt him. “Even if the MS wasn’t an issue, think, what did you think would happen? Did you think that both of you’d be able to continue to work here? After there was photographic evidence that you’ve been fraternising with a member of the White House Press Corp. Of course, both of you can’t continue to work here. C.J. be serious. If this was someone else, what would you advice?” President Bartlet looked at her intently.

“I…”  She began but couldn’t talk. Tears were forming in her eyes, and she felt like she had, finally, reached her breaking point. She wanted to see Danny.

 

-WW-

 

Toby sat in his office and stared at the scribbled and crossed out notepad on his desk. He had finished the statement for her. And him he thought bitterly. It had almost made him sick to write it. Because it was a written out ‘love confession’ for them. Josh had been right; nobody was going to blame Danny for falling in love with her. How could anyone? She was, to put it simply, the absolutely, unequivocally, ultimately; the best. She's smart and witty, and sexy — oh god she’s sexy, kind, loyal, adorable, and all the words. And he, Toby, had written her a statement where she says that she needed to listen to her heart; she needed to listen to love… He felt like pulling out the Jack Daniels in his bottom drawer and downing it in one gulp. He had somehow outdone himself with self-deprecative masochism. He wrote the answer for them to be together. He actually, physically wrote it — with his own hands. But that’s what you do when you love someone more than you thought your vary and suspicious heart was capable of. Sometimes he felt his love for her so much that it hurt. She would smile at him or hug him tightly, and he'd feel his heart breaking into thousand tiny pieces. He knew that they could never be together, not the way he wanted to at least. And he would NEVER, absolutely never, be the one to make her settle for anyone, anything. Not even if it meant they would be together. Because since they began working together again, they’d had a few moments. His divorce was still fresh and his heart vulnerable when she invited him out to drink. She chose a tiny jazz hole that felt as melancholy as he did, and it was exactly what he needed. They drank too much, he talked too much — and she sat next to him holding his hand and allowing him to wallow in self-pity. One night, after a gruelling week C.J. pulled him home with her. She’d made a blunder in the briefing room, and the press was relentless. They drank and then she was pulling him tightly, whispering words in his ears that were simply too delicious. She kissed him seductively, and it took all his willpower, heck, all the willpower there was, to pull away from her and gently guide her to her bed and tell her to go to sleep. She looked hurt in the moment, but she would have been devastated had she woken up with him in her bed. The next day she called him and apologised. If he were a cruel man he would have forced the situation, because he knew she loved him, and because she was kind; and for some inexplicable reason didn’t think she deserved true love, and she would settle for him. She wouldn’t do it for someone else, but she would settle — for him. He would be the happiest man in the world, and her light would slowly dim. He would give her the moon and stars. He would simply do anything for her.

 

He got up and ripped the page from the notepad. He sighed and left his office. As he walked towards the Oval office, he couldn’t fight the slight lightness of his step. In some bizarre way, this had helped him. Halfway to the Oval office, Josh met up with him.

“Is that it?” Josh said, pointing to the crumpled piece of paper.

“Yeah,” Toby replied loftily.

“Can I read it?” Josh asked hesitantly.

“Sure,” Toby said, continuing in his lofty matter, handing Josh the paper. He began reading and slowly stopped walking. Toby turned around when he noticed Josh wasn’t behind him anymore. Josh stood and read. When he finished, he looked at Toby with a strange look on his face.

“Toby,” he said catching up with him, “Toby this is, this is great.”

“Yeah,” Toby replied. They were back at Charlie's desk.

“Can we go in?” Toby asked.

Charlie stood up to check. Josh was looking at Toby, still holding the paper.

“You can go in,” Charlie said.

They walked in and saw C.J. standing by a window, one hand at her hip the other on her forehead. She didn’t seem to be able to stand still. She turned as they entered looking at Toby. Josh walked towards her and handed her the paper. She quickly read it. When she reached the end, she looked up, tears forming in her eyes, at Toby, her free hand over her heart. Toby gave a small nod as if to say ‘don’t mention it’. She mouthed thank you. Leo approached C.J. and took the paper from her.

 

**The Statement**

C.J. stood in front of the door leading to the press room. Her heart was beating fast, but her talk with the President had helped. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

“Are you ready,” Carol asked softly.

“Yeah,” C.J. replied straightening her skirt. Carol opened the door, and the voices of what seemed to be the entire press corp greeted her with screams of questions. Carol walked ahead of her and looked menacingly at the group of reporters.

“Settle down!” She yelled. The gaggle slowly became quiet as C.J. took the familiar steps to the podium. She looked up and felt almost nauseous.

"Good morning everyone. As I am sure everyone in this room is aware of, an article was published this morning in the Washington Times where it is stated that I have behaved unethically and am unfit to hold my office due to my fraternisation with a member of the White House Press corp. I will now read a short prepared statement:

For the last eight months I, Claudia Jean Cregg, have been romantically involved with Daniel Concannon, senior White House correspondent for the Washington Post,” the cameras in the room momentary blinded her with sudden, relentless flashing.

"I take my position here at the White House very seriously, and I would never knowingly do anything to jeopardise my credibility or trustworthiness.

But to quote Louis de Berniéres “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness.” I did not choose to fall in love, but nevertheless, I did. I want all of you here, who have been the bane and blessing of my work here at the White House, to know that I truly did not set out to deceive anyone…”

Toby stood in the back of the press room and watched C.J. speak. He could see she was nervous, but he doubted anyone else did. Hearing his words fall from her lips was soothing in a strange way.

“...I would like to clarify a few things. My relationship did not affect my work or impartiality…”

He looked around the room and could immediately make out the reporters who were going to try to make her life a living hell. They had a glint in their eyes and Toby could see the headlines and the process stories that would follow in the next few days. But these journalists were in the minority. Some were generally curious and a little bit shocked, but most were trying to hide grins and knowing looks to each other. It had been clear from the campaign that Danny liked C.J. and although she fought hard to ignore him, the banter and blushing smiles she tried so very hard to hide, were hard to miss. He had only hoped that would be the end of it. Some inappropriate flirting and crushes. Not love…

He looked up just as C.J. finished her statement

"...In consultation with the President and editors in chief from the Washington Post, Daniel Concannon will, effective immediately, no longer serve as a senior correspondent at the White House Press Corp. Mr Concannon will send out a statement later today. Thank you.”   

The gaggle of reporters started yelling her name as she stepped from the podium and left the room.

* * *

**The following is the official statement of former senior White House correspondent Daniel Concannon.**

 

_ "When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No ... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!” by Louis de Bernières _

_ It was worth it! _

-Danny Concannon

* * *

 

“I still can’t believe this is your statement,” C.J. shuffled the paper and laughed.

“What can I say, I’m a romantic guy,” Danny looked at her with a grin, taking a bite of his toast.

They were enjoying a late breakfast two days after the article about them was published. These two days had been utter chaos. C.J.’s briefings had begun to look like a brunch with forty nosy girlfriends — all curious about her new beau, not the White House press briefings.

C.J. smiled at him and finished her coffee.

“So, what’s your plan today?” She asked him.

“I’ve got a meeting with my editors,” he replied with one eyebrow raised.

Although he was no longer a White House reporter, he was still a reporter with the Washington Post, and his editors had been trying to find him a new position.

“Well have fun,” she said as she got up. She walked past the table and bent down to give him a kiss.

“Thank you, dear,” he said grabbing her for another kiss. She smiled and sat on his lap. They looked into each other's eyes. They both felt a strange calmness. They had been through a firestorm together, but now everything was calm. The earth was slightly scorched, but it would heal. Although C.J. had to admit that she was waiting for the moment when it would truly hit him what he had given up, for her! She was terrified that he would regret it and even resent her. She gave him a lingering kiss, trying to put all the unspoken words between them into the kiss. Reluctantly she got up and started getting dressed. When she returned to the kitchen, Danny had picked up the paper and was reading.

“I’ll see you tonight,” C.J. said as she stood in by the front door.

“Yeah,” Danny gave her a small smile, “C.J.,” he paused “I love you,” he said sweetly, “and I want you to know that I meant what I wrote. This is worth it.” She looked at him, and her heart swelled in her chest. “I love you,” she said, her voice choking up.

“Now get going,” he said jovially. She laughed and left the apartment.

* * *

 

The end.


End file.
